Hang on a second

Our youngest daughter Grace was christened a few weeks ago. The minister struggled to keep a grip on her while pouring water over her head. It was no surprise; Grace is nearly three years old and doesn’t take kindly to men in white smocks wetting her hair.

Needless to say we left our run a little late in the christening stakes. I don’t know how it happened. It was as though we blinked and Grace went from a baby in a bassinet to a tenacious toddler with a streak of independence as wide as the Nullarbor Plain.

Time – where does it go? I always thought I had a handle on time but now I think differently - time moves in mysterious ways.

When I was in my 20s, life was a layabout affair. I had oodles of time to arrive where I needed to be when I finally knew where I wanted to go. My days were full of sleep and languorous afternoons at the beach, or boozy evenings at the pub. What was the rush?

In my 30s there were several moments when I recognised the need to get a wriggle on – to scratch out some sort of a career to avoid being a complete bum – but time was still on my side. The world was still a place of grand possibilities. Every February I entertained the idea of pulling on the boots for one more season of footy. I was sure I had it in me.

Now in my 40s, my footy boots have long since been eaten by the dog and my grand world of possibilities is looking a little kitsch. I’m also coming to grips with the realisation that time is changing - a year is not what it used to be. How do I know? Because it’s five years since my eldest daughter, Darcey, was born, and soon she will be going to school. GOING TO SCHOOL!

It seems unbelievable. I’ve just had five years of my life zip by faster than Casey Stoner doing a lap at the Grand Prix. By the time he does two more laps I’ll be in my 50s and Darcey will be a teenager getting ready for VCE. Grace will be in high school and I’ll be casting sideways glances at my superannuation wondering if I need to tip in a bit more before Casey comes around again.

Darcey is at an age where milestones and important moments will stick with her for as long as her memory prevails. Everything is on the record now. She’s out there taking it all in. She is getting ready to move through a wider world, and Kate and I won’t be right there by her side for much of it.

I can see now why the first day at school is such a big deal for parents. I used to think all the tears on the first day were unnecessary but now I can understand why. It’s as much about the parents as the kids. Yes, it’s a time of a celebration and pride, but it’s also a time of anxiety and uncertainty and, surprisingly, a period of personal reflection for many Mums and Dads.

School – ah yes, I remember that place. I thought I’d finished with it. But now suddenly some ancient memories are floating back. And not all of them are pleasant. In fact, except for that first kiss with Anne Marie Kelly, the pleasant memories don’t stand out half as much as the small horrors and injustices.

But there’s no way out is there? The time has come for our beautiful girl to head off to school. The baby with the wispy hair and angelic smile is growing up so fast it makes my eyes water. As someone once said: Time covers and discovers everything. Amen to that. Nary a truer word spoken. We’ll just have to wait and see how it all turns out. Dearest Darcey, you go girl.

by Bruce Atherton

This article was first published in Australian Family Magazine, October 2007.