Toilet tips

In today’s competitive world there are certain questions guaranteed to make a mother blush. ‘What, not toilet trained yet?’, is one such question!

Rule number one. Each child is different and will train differently. Ask around amongst friends and family. Groups of toddlers the same age will all be at different stages and siblings within a family will all train differently – some will be dry during the day first, others dry at night. Some will stop and start and others will still be wetting the bed well into their school years.

The way a child approaches toilet training is likely to mirror his own temperament  and approach to other milestones such as learning to walk or trying new foods – whether that’s happy go lucky, cautious, adventurous, or on their own terms, so before starting off on the journey it is important to take that into consideration.

So when’s the best time to start toilet training? Experts agree that optimum training is when:

1. your child is in a cooperative frame of mind  and is starting to

• take an interest in others using the toilet or is open to the idea of sitting on it, or curious about toilets.
• use words like wees and poos, and can use them when they have wet or dirtied their nappy.
• tell you she has a wet or dirty nappy
• show on their face or by their body movements (that look of concentration) that they are wetting or dirtying their nappy.

2. there are no changes likely to happen in your life, eg moving house, new sibling, visitors.

3. the weather is warm – there’s nothing like running around in the nuddy and letting nature take its course.

4. You’re in the right frame of mind and have time, energy and patience to dedicate to the ‘job’ at hand!

Like many other milestone in a toddlers development, some times there is a long time between showing signs of interest and actually getting on with it. Many toddlers show a desire to be changed, some going further and ripping off their nappy at every opportunity.

They love the idea of the potty, especially as a storage for assorted toys, but haven’t quite yet connected the dots and once the nappy is off are completely unconcerned by any puddles that mysteriously appear beneath them…often accompanied by ‘oooorrrhhh’!

In a nutshell, toilet training is an art, not a science and if it turns out to be a false start, be prepared to call the whole thing off and try again later. Quite simply, toddlers have to learn to control the impulse to spontaneously let it all out and voluntary control over wees and poos comes only with maturation of the central nervous system.

Dr Janet Hall, in her book Easy Toilet Training, describes the three key things that influence toilet training readiness: age, ego and environment.

1. Age: the age of toilet training is not usually reflective of the child’s intelligence level; it is a developmental milestone.

• Bladder control: at around 15 months a child becomes aware of what is happening ‘down there’ – wet pants or puddles are connected with doing wees. From about 20 months you can do something about it – if your child is responsive start toilet training now. By three-and-a-half, most children have learned to recognise the sensation of a full bladder and can hold for the potty or toilet.
• Night control: usually develops later than day control (70% are dry by four years) and is best dealt with separately.
• Bowel control: some children learn to control their bowels at two years, but some take longer.

2. Ego: poos and wees are one of the few things that toddlers have control over.

They are push-pulled between wanting to please and wanting to rebel. The opportunity to exert their own ego and personal control by withholding or doing wees or poos in public is immensely empowering!

3. Environment: family attitudes and demonstrations of positive toileting are important – going to the toilet is a very normal part of life – don’t treat it as embarrassing or something to hide.

The process

Once all the stars are aligned then its time to arm yourself with the various impedimenta necessary:

• a potty
• a star chart
• picture books on the topic
• grown up books on the topic
• a toilet seat insert
• a little step up to the big loo
• special toilet paper
• toilet training knickers and other assorted gadgets
• clean-up tools
• and all the well meaning advice in the world….

What next?

It really is a matter of watching for the optimum moment and ‘catching’ the product in the right container. There are many useful websites, books and human resources around on the topic – all of them advocating one common element of advice. Toilet training happens best in a no-fuss environment – like so much else in parenting it’s a matter of ‘be alert but not alarmed’. And remember, virtually all children are well and truly dry during the day by the time they are start kindergarten…so relax!.

Once the deed is done

• Teach girls to wipe from ‘front to back’.
• Teach boys to shake their penis after a wee to get rid of any drops (it’s easiest to sit little boys for wees until they have mastered knowing when to go). A ping pong ball floating in the loo water is handy for encouraging correct aim as they grow more competent.
• Be nearby to wipe bottoms after poo, as most toddlers can’t reach, and don’t possess the necessary technique for a thorough wipe!
• Be a role model and always wash your own and their hands after using the potty or toilet (whether achieving success in depositing or not!)

The boy-girl difference

According to a recent study of more than 250 toddlers and preschoolers at the Medical College of Wisconsin, boys take longer than girls to get the potty message.

In this study, the median for girls to be trained (defined as staying dry overnight) is 2 years 10 months as compared to 3 years for boys.

Milestones girls boys

• Understand potty words, such as ‘do you need to do a wee?’ 23 months 25 months
• Can tell that they're having or have had a bowel movement 2 yrs 1 month 2 yrs 3 months
• Know how to wee in the potty 2 yrs 3 months 2 yrs 7 months
• Wear training pants or underwear 2 yrs 7 months 2 yrs 10 months
• Can say so before having to urinate 2 yrs 8 months 2 yrs 11 months
• Stay dry during the day 2 yrs 9 months 2 yrs 11 months

Another study from the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia found that children younger than 27 months took a year or more to be toilet-trained, while children aged 27 to 36 months needed only five to ten months.

Source: Parenting  

Easy Toilet Training by Dr Janet Hall, Landmark Press. RRP $16.95

Keep swimming pools healthy

There are still some bacteria and viruses (cryptosporidium, Giardia, e.coli, shigella and entero-viruses) that are not eliminated immediately by chlorination and may contaminate the water, especially in public pools.
Parents can help pools remain safe by being proactive about preventing toileting ‘accidents’ in the pool.

• Young children and others who are likely to have toileting accidents should avoid sharing pools with others.
• Anyone in the family who has had diarrhoea should not swim in pools.
• Use disposable ‘swimming’ nappies which are available at most supermarkets, or put babies and young children into tight fitting swimmers.
• While swimming nappies and tight swimmers won’t stop the water being contaminated if an accident happens, it does help in the clean up of the pool.
• Take children to the toilet often, rather than waiting to hear they ‘have to go’ as it may be too late.
• Change nappies in a bathroom and not at the poolside, as germs can spread to surfaces or objects in and around the pool and spread illness.
• Wash children thoroughly (especially on the bottom) with soap and water before going swimming.
• Wash hands with soap and water after changing a child’s nappy.

By following these simple guidelines everyone can stay healthy and have fun in the pool this summer.

Source: NSW Health fact sheets  

This article was first published in Australian Family Magazine, November 2006. Updated July 2009.