sue@mumhood's blog

If you have more than one child, does one of them try to be the head or the boss of the other/s?

My six year old son is intent on being the boss of his three year old brother.  Whilst the little one does look up to his big brother, he definitely has a mind of his own.  Many times he is happy to go along with what his is told or meant to do, but lately he has been standing up to him a lot more.

I try to let them work out their disagreements and power struggles.  Obviously I step in when things get out of hand or if they can’t resolve their differences themselves.

My husband is away from home many times during the week due to work, so often it is just me and the boys throughout the week.

At times it is difficult, particularly on those occasions when we have all been sick or when the boys were really young.  I take my hat off to all the single parent families out there.

Now the boys are getting older, they are really starting to miss having their Dad around every day. They jump all over him when he gets home and often they choose him over me when it comes to putting them to bed or reading a story.

Boys look up to their Dads for many reasons.   They are often more fun and not as cautious and serious as their Mum – well this is true in our family anyway.

My usually chatty 6 year old, won’t talk to me about something he perceives as bad that happened at school the other day. How am I supposed to help, if he won’t talk about it?

I tried every approach imaginable. I got nothing – except an increasingly irritable child that will just not open up.

I guess that’s the point. Maybe I am not supposed to help.  As he said himself ‘it’s over – I can handle it’. Where he got that terminology from is another mystery to me. So for now, I am going to trust that he can handle it and turn off my over-bearing mother switch. . .

With kids back at school and back into the terms activities, I sometimes wonder whether they are doing too much.

Both my sons attend three structured activities during the week. This is on top of school for my six year old and preschool for the three year old.

As we race around week after week, I wonder are all of these activities really necessary? Of course every kid in Australia has to learn to swim, but what of the other activities we enrol them in?  

Maybe coming home from school and playing outside, rather than rushing off to another commitment is better for them.

Are we becoming a generation that wants our kids to excel at everything from sport to music to art? Maybe making mudpies and daisy chains is just as good. 

There is a lot of talk about helicopter parenting and how we need to give children their independence and space to grow.

I hope that I am not quite a helicopter parent, but I sometimes do struggle with knowing when is the right time to let my six year old do things on his own.

School is six kilometres away and the buses aren’t that great around our area, so I do drop him off and pick him up every day.  In his kinder/prep year I got a kiss every time he went off to his classroom, but this week I got the hand. “No kissing Mum – I am in Year 1 now”  he said.

I didn’t think I would be at this stage just yet.  But that’s the funny thing when you are a parent, learning to stand back when kids take the lead.

After the longest break of the year, the kids are back to school this week. We can relax all of those newly honed skills we developed over the summer holidays.

You know the ones I mean; the ability to lift more than our own body weight in gear for a fun day at the beach, the refereeing credentials learned while prising apart your usually loving children after six weeks together 24/7.

The wonderful sense of humour you have developed when they ask you for the fifth time "what are we doing today?"

The catering abilities you practised serving up nutritious, yet delicious snacks, to children that seemingly eat non–stop. (No wonder last year’s uniform and shoes don’t fit anymore). . .

Christmas is such a special time of year, and children make it even more enjoyable.  You tend to bring traditions and memories from your own childhood and marry them together with your partners.  It becomes a really wonderful time for your own kids.

As my boys become older they are getting even more excited about December 25. It starts well before the big day - the whole month of December is pretty thrilling to them.  Decorating the Christmas tree and the rest of the house is always a huge deal to my kids.

So is collecting and decorating pinecones, attending the local Christmas carols and writing out Christmas cards – especially if you have just learnt to write!

According a study released by the Australian Bureau of Health and Welfare, more kids are hurt in accidents when Dad is looking after them.  I don’t think it’s because Dads are irresponsible, it’s more likely kids are doing activities like motor bike riding or tree climbing when Dad is around.

I know this is certainly true in my household.  I don’t wrap my boys in cotton wool, but I know that I am definitely conservative when it comes to risk taking. . .

This weekend was a rainy one.  It was a perfect time to get my boys to help me sort through the many toys, books and DVD’s they have accumulated over the past few years.

Many of them are in perfect condition and ready for a new home. I am trying to explain to them the importance of giving to others in need. There are children very ill in hospital, there are many whose families may be unable to afford toys and others that simply don’t have enough food to eat.

Sometimes it can be hard to explain the realities of life to young children.  “But Santa gives all kids presents Mum” says my six year old.  Of course I can’t go about spoiling the magic of Santa, but they need to know that life can be far from perfect.

Drowning is one of the most prevalent causes of preventable death in Australian children under five.  It is one of my greatest fears for my kids. I never take my eyes off them around water.

I enrolled my eldest son in swimming lessons at 12 weeks of age.  In hindsight, it was probably a bit early, but at the time, I was desperate to get out and about with my baby.  I do wonder if the early start instilled the love of water and swimming he has today.

Contrast that to my now 3 year old.  I didn’t start him until he was 12 months of age.  He isn’t anywhere near as keen on the water as his brother and we have nick-named him ‘sand crab’.  He likes being around it, but not actually going in it. . .