Living well with pets
Overseas research has found that pets hold a similar status in children’s lives to family, teachers, best friends and carers. Asked who they would turn to in a troublesome situation pets featured in children’s top 10 replies. Children considered their cat just as important as their mother, as a source of comfort in times of stress and illness, and dogs were nominated in second place as the preferred protector if walking down a dark alley.

Denise Humphries, a consultant to Petcare Information and Advisory Services says, “Pets have long been considered conducive to a person’s social, physical and emotional well being. You only need to see a child’s face light up when they’re with their pet, to understand the important role pets play in a child’s life.”

Pets are great as a teacher, a family member, a playmate and can help kids to:

• Learn about respect and compassion
• Enjoy affection and unconditional love
• Cope with illness and death, and understand the basics of reproductive behaviour
• Develop skills to look after themselves and others;
• Make friends easily and develop social skills
• Be more active
• Feel more secure and improve their self esteem
• Spend more time with their family through the shared care and love of an animal.

How to pick a pet or two
Pet ownership is not all about fluffy kittens and roly-poly puppies. In fact too many pets find their way to animal shelters because their former owners didn’t understand what was involved in looking after them.

Dr Jenny Wingham, a vet in Melbourne’s south east says, “Firstly it is important to look at your family’s lifestyle. Secondly consider how much time you have to spend with your pet. All pets need shelter, food, water, exercise, preventative health care and above all love and affection.”

Pets are a wonderful addition to the family but ensure you do your research and choose carefully, unless one of the things you want to teach your kids is that it’s acceptable to take home a living creature, try it out and return if they don’t suit.

Online resource www.petnet.com.au helps kids and families decide what pet is right for them and how to correctly care for and enjoy their pets.

Saying goodbye to pets
Because of animals’ shorter life-cycles the death of a treasured pet is inevitable at some time in family’s lives. It is very often the first experience children will have with dying, death and the associated grief and loss.

“Therefore we have a wonderful opportunity to teach our children about mortality and the fact that all living things have different life spans,” says Dr Emma Whiston, who owns and operates My Best Friend, a veterinary service which provides end of life care for elderly and terminally ill pets, and bereavement support for their owners.

“Spend time talking with your child about lifecycles and the processes of birth and death. Children do best when told the truth in clear, correct language about what is going on. This also can avoid confusion or mistaken beliefs,” she says recalling a case where a child was terrified when told she was ‘being put to sleep’ for a general anaesthetic as the euphemism had also been used to explain what had happened to her beloved pet.

Dr Whiston says that rituals are a way of honouring the pet and channeling the grief, and recommends that children have the choice to be involved in any funeral arrangements, funerals or memorial services.
Ways in which grief is expressed for the pet will depend on the strength of the emotional bond between them and the age of the child, as well as the response of other family members.

“Even though it is usually a very, very sad and painful time for many parents to observe their children during this process, a healthy and honest approach to the management of grief and bereavement is very important for future experiences to be positive, whether they involve other pets or human family and friends,” says Dr Whiston.

Healing pets
The therapeutic powers of animals, in particular dogs, are having a transformative effect on many children who face challenges such as vision impairment, physical challenges, behavioural issues or recovery from illness, as well as children who have experienced physical or sexual abuse.

“Interacting with an animal can change a child’s behaviour”, says Hollee Curran, coordinator of the Pet Partners program at Delta Society Australia, which runs training and programs that promote and facilitate positive interaction between people and animals. “The special bond that develops between the child and the animal significantly contributes to the effectiveness of their treatment and brings joy and laughter into an otherwise glum environment.”

Delta is currently working with The Westmead Children’s Hospital in New South Wales to introduce a Pet Partner program working with children with brain and/or spinal injury.

“Many of the therapeutic goals the children are working towards require laborious, painful and repetitive exercises,” says Ms Curran. “With the involvement of a Delta dog they have another member on their team to help them reach their full potential. They are distracted from their pain, are having a positive social interaction with the animal handler who is not a member of the medical staff and can approach their therapy playfully.”

The Tail’s End
My family has a Golden Retriever who, despite ruining our garden, traipsing muddy feet and shedding hair through the house, makes us laugh. She ensures we get our daily exercise and reminds us of the importance of being in the moment. She is everyone’s best friend and has managed on many an occasion to diffuse an argument– by literally flopping down between the warring parties and breaking the tension.

Put simply the power of pets is that they help us be the best we can.

What we say about our pets
"We got a cat to aid the development of our eldest son. It's been a great success, he's responsible for feeding and grooming it and I think it's taught him to respect things which are smaller and weaker than himself. He's learned to sit and pat it".

"Our kids are reasonably fair and I wonder if having animals has helped. We've always had Golden Retrievers and Labradors."

"Emily is an only child and we think having an animal will help. It'll mean there's more than one little person. She won't be the focus of everything and she won't be so indulged".

"It's a life experience. My kids saw the dog next door give birth".

"The kids know about the cats being de-sexed and so they said to me 'is that what you're going to do?' My daughter went to school and said 'my mother is being de-sexed'!"

"We have a niece with a terminal illness. Maybe the cat's death will help my son to cope when she goes. He had so much compassion for that little cat".

"Pets help kids realise there's more to life than 'I want'."

"I came home from hospital with a baby and a pup, the bonding between them has been wonderful - it's not quite the same with the older children".

"A dog gives you so much. We play hide and seek with our dog and he'll find us and everything".

"When our dog died after 17 years, my 15 year-old son cried his heart out. We buried the dog under the tree, and placed a cross".

Source: A Study of Our Attitudes to Cat and Dog Ownership conducted by MacCallum Research P/L in association with Hugh Mackay